


High without your love

by Kendrene



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, High Kara Danvers, I'm not sure how much Lena spent at that McDonalds but it was a lot, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, alien drug, for like a broke writer's standards, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25019707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kendrene/pseuds/Kendrene
Summary: When Kara deals with a fire - and comes back from her mission not quite herself - Alex discovers that Kryptonian toxin resistance doesn't work on whatever she accidentally inhaled. Cue in Lena, who has to deal with a high-as-balls Kara for several hours while the drug's effects wear off. Which would be fine, if they were on talking terms.ORKara's high and Lena does some Super-sitting, but it's not like she cares. Right? Wrong.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 31
Kudos: 1305





	High without your love

**Author's Note:**

> I can write M rated stuff! Imagine that! There's some sexy times toward the end of the fic just a heads up but it's soft enough to not warrant the E. 
> 
> I really had a ton of fun writing this. I hope you will like reading it!
> 
> \- Dren
> 
> Title comes from the song "High without your love" by Loote

When Lena’s phone rings past midnight, she thinks it’s one of the overseas VPs. Time zones and all that.

It isn’t.

It’s Alex.

Lena’s not entirely surprised. She’s agreed to continue working with the DEO and, by extension, Supergirl, but within reasonable boundaries. Being woken up around 1 a.m. comes close to crossing the line.

“Yes?”

“Hey, Lena... uh, are you awake?” 

“I am now.” It takes all of her willpower not to roll her eyes. 

“Yeah. Look, I know it’s late, and I wouldn’t have called you if—” 

The wringing of hands is practically audible. So. Lena cuts her off.

“Alex.” 

“Yes?” 

“Cut the crap. You called because you need me.” She can’t help coming off a little smug. She doesn’t try to stop it. “So tell me about the villain of the week.” 

On the other end of the line, Alex sucks in a long, unhappy breath. 

“It’s not…” There’s a long pause, and Lena starts to wonder whether the line dropped. “It’s nothing like that.” 

“Then what?”

“It’s about Kara.” 

*************

Lena has to put in some real  _ work  _ to school her face to stillness before she enters the infirmary. She has the Luthor upbringing and education to thank for managing at all. 

She is quite good at pretending to be whole, even when her heart feels like it’s being wrenched six ways from Sunday inside her chest. On her way here, she’s had time to torture herself with thousands of scenarios, each one darker than the last. Funny how much power Kara holds over her, even after all that’s happened between them. They aren’t friends anymore. And yet.

Lena’s lips push into a thin line, and she steels herself. 

Kara has no right to make her feel this way.

No right at all.

After she finally gets physically there, flanked by a nervous-looking Alex, Lena can’t make sense of what she’s seeing. 

Kara’s sitting on a gurney, feet swinging back and forth with the same energy and glee of a small child. Her suit is singed — the cape looks like it was deliberately set on fire — and she’s missing one boot. 

But. She looks…  _ fine _ .

Until Lena’s eyes come to rest on what she’s holding, and— 

“Is she watching cartoons?” 

“ _ She-Ra and the Princesses of Power _ ,” Alex groans softly next to her. “It was the only thing we found that keeps her occupied.”

“Occupied?” Lena can  _ feel _ her face go through several stages of confusion. “Alex, I don’t understand. What—” 

She’s interrupted by a squeal of delight.

“Oh, Rao, Alex they just  _ held hands _ !” She flips the tablet so that they can see the frame in question. “Look!” 

“Yes.” Alex grabs Lena by the elbow and leads her to the far corner of the room. “Amazing. You keep watching that, and we’ll be with you in a sec, okay?” 

She crowds Lena near the wall, which she finds silly, because they’ll never be out of Kara’s earshot. 

Still, Lena drops her voice to a whisper.

“So, what’s going on?”

“Kara responded to a fire,” Alex starts, summarizing the rest in choppy sentences. Every now and then, she pauses, sending worried looks toward her sister. Kara is far too absorbed in her cartoons to notice, enraptured gaze glued to the tablet screen.

“She’s high, then?” Lena asks when Alex is finished. She’d vaguely heard about the fire on the news, between one meeting and the next, but these days, Lena avoids the news as much as she can.

The chance of seeing a telltale flash of red and gold is way too high, and her heart can’t take that yet. 

(not now. not ever.)

“We think so.” Alex takes a moment to press two fingers to her temple. Lena can see the exhaustion in her eyes, and the fear, briefly, before she closes them. There’s a small sigh, too, which she’d have entirely missed if Alex wasn’t standing this damn close. She’s worried in a way Lena has seldom seen, and it worries her in turn. 

Alex never lets the facade of professionalism slip this far. 

“A team is gathering more samples from the site as we speak, but from what we could get off of Kara’s clothes, it’s THC mixed with something we’ve never seen before.”

“Alien?” 

“Possibly.” Alex swallows thickly. Her eyes dart around the room, and she has a trapped expression plastered on her face. “I hope it’s alien. I hope someone’s just trying to manufacture a new recreational drug, and not—” 

Not something aimed specifically at Supergirl. 

The first hypothesis is bad enough.

“Okay.” Surprising herself, Lena puts a hand on Alex’s shoulder. Squeezes gently. “What do you need me to do?” More shocking still is how level her voice stays. She can fake for Alex’s benefit, even when she’s one breath away from being unmade at the seams. For all they know, what Kara inhaled could be poisonous. She could be dying even now.

(but she seems fine, and what does Lena  _ care  _ anyway?)

“I’ve tried to take a blood sample, but she won’t stay still for me. Maybe you’ll have better luck.” 

Great. 

They decide that the best course of action is a careful approach, but before they can get around to it, the noise of crunched plastic stops them in their tracks. 

“Whoops!” What’s left of the tablet dangles from Kara’s hands in shiny bits of plastic and internal wiring. “These things are flimsy, aren’t they?” 

“It’s the third one she’s broken.” Alex looks about ready to throw up. “At this rate we’re going to run out.”

“Oh, I’m sure the government will buy you new ones,” Lena quips, but her heart isn’t in it. Her eyes are trained on Kara’s face, and as she’s drawing closer, she can see that something is amiss. 

Under the mussed halo of her hair, the lines of her face are a bit slack, softer than usual. Kara’s eyes track Lena as she moves, but her gaze is lacking focus, the baby blue of her eyes dim. Clouded. 

She looks utterly  _ innocent _ . Cherubic, almost. Only someone who’s spent as much time with her as Lena has would notice — someone who made Kara a  _ study _ — an unfulfilled wish beholden to a fragile, wounded heart.

If Red-K brings out the feral side of her, whatever substance she absorbed appears to have stripped her of any malice.

A troubling thought crosses her mind.

“Why haven’t you turned on the red sun lamps?” She throws the question over one shoulder, never taking her eyes from Kara’s face. 

“Not sure they’d work the way they’re supposed to with her drugged to the gills. Besides, apart from breaking a few things, it’s like she doesn’t remember how her powers work.” Alex pauses, and then adds under her breath. “Or that she has powers at all.” 

Lena nods to herself, but they may have to risk using the lamps to get the blood sample they need. 

She approaches Kara the way she would an injured deer, afraid of startling it into bolting away.

“Hey.” Making sure to keep her voice low, Lena reaches out. Her fingers stop just shy of brushing Kara’s cheek. “Hey, Kara.” 

“Lena! Hiii!” Kara throws her arms around Lena’s neck with enough enthusiasm she’s knocked back a step. “Whatcha doing here?” For a few seconds, all Lena can do is gasp for air. Kara’s hugging her so hard her ribs begin to hurt in protest, lungs burning as they process the little air she is able to suck in. 

The lights around them grow a feeble washed out red, and the strength of Kara’s arms wanes to bearable levels. Well — at least now they know the red sun lamps  _ do _ work.

“Sorry.” Alex shuffles into view, visibly embarrassed. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Lena manages, raising a hand to pat Kara’s shoulder. She’s not really listening. Even the ache in her ribs (which will surely bruises in a day or so) is like an afterthought. Kara’s  _ holding  _ her, pressed up so close her hair is tickling Lena’s cheek. 

Lena had thought herself over the sheer  _ want _ she has for this kind of affection, but she’s not. Her heart hammers in her chest so fast that she can taste it on her tongue, and it’s a wonder Kara fails to comment on it. 

Alex’s words start to make sense now. 

“Darling, can you please let me go? Alex and I need to check you over.” 

“Fiine.” Kara’s body language screams reluctance, but she relinquishes her hold, and sits still enough that Lena can shine a light into her eyes. Her pupils are unnaturally blown out, and Lena’s close enough now to realize she’s running a mild fever. 

Her heart lurches in her chest, and she pulls in a big inhale, hoping it will steel her nerves. 

“Kara, I need to take a blood sample, okay? Promise I’ll be quick.” She doesn’t really know why she adds the last part. Most nights are spent in her apartment quietly fuming, thinking up ways to hurt Kara as badly as the Kryptonian hurt her. Except that, confronted with how vulnerable Kara is right now, Lena has discovered she really doesn’t want to go through with revenge. 

Oblivious to what’s going on inside her head, Kara blinks at her in complete trust. She seems fine with the idea, at least until the needles come into view. 

“No way,” she crosses her arms over her breasts with a pout. “Nu-uh.”

“Kara,” Alex’s tone is tinged in exasperation, her temper dangerously close to fraying. “Quit being a baby about this, please.”

“You quit being a baby!” Kara scoots to the far end of the gurney, arms wrapped even more tightly around herself. She’s pouting, but her eyes are narrowed slits. Lena needs to defuse the situation before she actually remembers she’s got heat-vision. 

“Kara—” Alex tries again, in her best no-nonsense Director Danvers voice, which clearly doesn’t help. 

“No! I don’t wanna!” 

Alex takes a step forward. She’s not meaning to be threatening, clearly — concern almost wafting off of her in visible waves — but that’s the effect it has on Kara. 

Her jaw sets the way it does when she’s about to be particularly stubborn about something, like when she’s chasing a story for CatCo, or insisting she can save the world on her own. Her eyebrows knit, a crease forming on her forehead as she glares.

Alex simply folds her arms and glares right back.

“Oookay.” Lena steps between them, effectively breaking up their line of sight. “How about we all take a deep breath and think of a way to get the blood sample without making Kara feel uncomfortable?” 

“Okay then, genius. You’re up.” Alex throws her hands up in defeat and moves off, grumbling to herself. Lena’s glad her back is turned, because Kara sticks her tongue out at her sister’s retreating form, absolutely shameless.

“What about food after?” she tries, plastering a conspiratorial look over her face. A surefire way to get Kara on one’s side is through her stomach, and Lena hopes that still holds true when she’s under the influence of whatever the fuck she’s inhaled.

“What about food now?” Kara counters with a shit-eating grin that makes Lena stumble. That makes her think of what they had when they were friends, and Kara’d fall asleep on Lena’s couch after too many bags of takeout, unaware that she sat mesmerized inches away, struggling not to kiss her.

“There’s no—” No food here, she’s about to say, but hold on a minute. She rushes out without a word and in the time it takes her to grab the bowl of assorted candy from Alex’s office, the sisters have gone back to their heated staring contest. 

“I can’t leave you alone at all, can I?” Lena sighs, setting the bowl down next to the blood testing kit. “Kara? Honey, how about you let me take a vial of blood and then I give you all this candy?” 

“Hey!” That gets Alex’s full attention. “That’s my—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I’ll bring you more tomorrow!” Lena’s had it, honestly, but mostly she’s trying to disguise her shaking hands. She didn’t mean to call Kara darling, or honey, and tells herself it’s just a habit that is hard to break. Soon enough, she can go back to her new normal — the fragmented, awkward interactions, the snide remarks and cold shoulders. It’s fine. She’s gotten used to it.  _ Totally fine. _

To keep her thoughts from spiraling out of her control, she picks up one of the needles. 

“Please, Kara? We’re just worried about you.”

“Okay.” Lena can’t tell what’s going on behind Kara’s bright blue eyes, but the fight goes out of her and she offers up her arm. “Is it gonna hurt?”

_ Not as much as you hurt me _ . The words scorch her throat like bile, but somehow, Lena holds them back.

“You’ll feel only a tiny prick, I promise.”

She draws Kara’s blood by rote, thankful that muscle memory trained in years of lab experiments takes over. Kara’s beaming up at her, trusting and soft and  _ open _ . With the kind of shadows rooted in her heart, Lena knows she does not deserve it. 

Once done, she hands the candy off as promised, and a smile fights its way to her lips as she watches Kara dig in with the same joy of a kid on their birthday. 

“So, what now?” She labels the vials of blood for the DEO lab, and a staffer hurries off to get them tested. 

“I guess we put her in an observation room for the night.” Now that they’re actually getting somewhere, Alex seems to be more in control. “Would you mind staying, as well? I could use another set of eyes to look at the results.”

Lena entertains the possibility of saying no. It’s not like she is  _ obligated _ . This has gone well past the boundaries she’d set, and then some. She came here, did what Alex asked. There’s a bottle of Krug in the fridge at home with her name on it. She shouldn’t feel bad about leaving. 

But she does.

They’ve both been so involved in planning the way forward, neither of them notices that Kara’s edged so close to Lena she’s nearly brushing up against her. 

“You’re so pretty,” she practically whispers in her ear. “I like the way you smell.” 

Lena nearly jumps out of her skin, and has to swallow back a yelp. Okay, so maybe Kara didn’t forget how to use  _ all  _ of her powers. Perhaps a fragrance less pervasive than Dior is in order, too. 

She pulls back as discreetly as she can, but Kara follows with a giggle, tumbling off the gurney onto unsteady feet. “Pretty Lena,” she mumbles, arms open wide to hug her again. “So pretty.” 

“Uhm.” It’s the cowardly thing to do, but she retreats, and Alex becomes an involuntary human shield. Whenever Lena moves, Kara follows in near lockstep. They circle Alex a few times with Kara trying to pull her into a hug every other step.

The entire thing would be hilarious to watch — if it wasn’t happening to her. “So unless you plan to lock me in an observation room with her, I don’t think that’s a good plan.” 

“Lena I’m so sor—”

“Save it.” She slams her eyes shut, and when she opens them again, she fixes Kara with a stare that stops her in her tracks. Confusion flits across her face, quickly replaced by hurt, and Lena feels terrible for it. It’s not Kara’s fault she’s acting like this — she reminds herself — but that of the substance which obfuscates her mind. 

“I’m taking her home.” Anything to have Kara stop looking at her like that, blue eyes swimming with tears. It’s a snap decision Lena’s positive she will come to regret, but she charges on, past an open-mouthed Alex to take Kara’s hand in both of hers. As soon as their fingers brush, the Kryptonian looks slightly less lost. 

“You’re what?” 

“You heard me.” She tells herself it’s common sense and not the fact she can’t abide the thought of Kara being locked up, alone and possibly very scared, even if for a few hours.

“But— her powers—she could—” Alex glances to the pile of junk that used to be a tablet before Kara got her hands on it, and the unspoken message is quite clear. Except Lena has been prepared for such an eventuality since her trust was so badly broken.

“The penthouse is lined with lead. And I’ve had red sun lamps installed since after—” Lena suddenly stops, realizing how it all sounds. It was impulse leading her to do it, days after she’d been told who Kara really was. After she discovered no amount of scotch could dull the pain she felt — sharp, like that of an open wound. Turning her penthouse into a Kryptonian-averse fortress had kept Lena afloat. It gave her a purpose that went beyond the mere existing. It made her feel back in control. 

“I’m going to pretend I didn't hear that, Luthor." The frost in Alex's tone causes the temperature to drop several degrees. Lena opens her mouth for a clipped comment about trust when Kara gasps, eyes wide.

"Ohhhh, someone’s in troubleee." Her delivery is so comical, Alex sputters, choking on a snort. After that slipup, it's basically impossible to regain her composure.

"I'm taking her to my place," Lena insists, and she intends her words as final. "Besides, it'll take hours for the bloodwork to come back. May as well keep her somewhere comfortable." Which the DEO isn't meant to be, but she doesn't say that.

"Oh!  _ Oh _ !" Kara's finally caught on to what all of it means, and bounces on her toes in sheer excitement. "A sleepover? At  _ Lena's _ ? And  _ food _ ?"

"You're  _ still  _ hungry?" Alex blurts out, eyes flicking to the empty bowl of candy. Not  _ completely _ empty really, but full of balled up wrappers and the cherry filled chocolates Kara never liked.

“Duh.” 

***

_ You better get her back here in one piece _ \- are the last words Alex snipes her way as she is seeing them off. 

Kara is fascinated by the dash of Lena’s car — particularly delighted to have figured out which button turns the windshield wipers on — and that gives Lena the opportunity to strike. 

“I’ll have you note,” she hisses lowly, letting the feeling of betrayal she’s coexisted with for all these months harden her eyes, “that what systems I’ve had installed in my house are meant to keep me safe from Supers, not the other way around.” 

The stricken expression on Alex’s face is worth the ordeal of listening to Kara sing along with Vanessa Carlton as they  _ do  _ make their way downtown on a relatively quiet highway.

Singing that cuts off abruptly when they speed by the golden arches of a McDonald’s, glowing like a beacon in the dark.

“Can we have McDonald’s?” Kara all but scrunches her face up to the window. “Please?” 

“We have food at home.” Kale and wine, mostly. 

“Pleeeeasee?” Kara leans into her seat, eyes wide and without bottom. “ _ Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease _ ?” 

“Ugh. Fine.” 

“Yay!” 

Lena has to turn around at the next exit and by the time she’s pulling into the drive-thru, Kara’s chanting  _ McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s _ under her breath. Her next Supersuit, Lena decides, feeling a headache thrum against her temples, should definitely include a gas mask.

“Good evening, ma’am. Can I have your order, please?” The cheerful script the employee is forced to follow makes Lena want to scream.

“Yes, hi.” She forces herself to sound as jovial. The fact that Kara is a cross between a hyperactive Retriever and a himbo when she’s high is not the poor guy’s fault. “I’d like one coffee, black— ” she allows herself a dramatic pause, relishing Kara’s little whine of outrage, “ —and as many chicken nuggets and fries as you can make, I guess.” 

“And like, all the Happy Meals you have!” Disengaging her seatbelt, Kara flops across Lena’s lap to yell into the microphone. Lena tries to avoid thinking about how good it feels when the Kryptonian inadvertently pushed into her front. She huffs, and does her best to look annoyed. With her patience worn threadbare and tiredness turning her limbs to lead, it doesn’t take much of an effort.

“What?” Kara obviously misunderstands. “They’ve got Supergirl themed toys in ‘em. And Supergirl’s  _ awesome _ !” 

“Are you  _ kidding  _ me?” 

God, when will the night  _ end _ .

Maybe none of this is happening. Maybe Lena’s fallen asleep on the couch, and is ensnared inside a nightmare. But Kara’s too warm and soft against her chest to be a dream.

She’s blinking up at Lena, reaching out to smooth the tense line of her jaw with her thumb. Her smile is so full and bright, it’s impossible for Lena to remain indifferent. She nearly melts into the touch before catching herself, and gently pushing Kara off of her is one of the hardest things she’s ever done. 

The more she hangs around this unfiltered, carefree version of her former friend, the harder it is to hold on to her grudges. 

Her heart begins to thaw, and Lena can only acknowledge what is happening, and the fear for Kara’s life that engineered this natural disaster in her chest. 

She can see how it will end, and vows she won’t go down without a fight. Never let it be said that the Luthors aren’t petty. 

A sort of stunned silence has fallen on the other side of the line, occasionally interrupted by the whispers of the staffers attempting to puzzle out the order. After several more minutes, the employee’s voice comes through, a bit uncertain.

“Er, did I get that right, ma’am?” he asks, after reciting the order back to her.

“Yes.” The thumping at her temples has turned into a steady pressure. A full-blown headache that makes her vision swim and sparks flares of white behind her eyelids. Lena will need more than wine to cope — not just with that. 

“Uhm. Okay.” The McDonald’s employee seems to have regained some of his balance. “Why don’t you pull around front? I’ll bring the order out to you, but it’s gonna take a while.” 

“It’s alright!” Kara cuts in happily before Lena can reply. “We can wait!”

It’s a good thing they made Kara change into the clean set of clothes she always keeps at the DEO before setting off. 

It takes about fifteen minutes for the massive order to be ready. There’s so much food the staffer has to bring it out to them in a box. 

“Thank you so much.” Lena already paid via credit card, but she adds a second tip in cash, without even bothering to check how much she’s giving him. A lot, judging by the way he gapes, eyes filled with disbelief. “You literally saved my life.” And what little food she’s got left in her fridge.

As they head back out onto the highway, Kara tears through the Happy Meals, and soon enough, the backseat is covered in greasy wrappers.

“Careful with that, please,” Lena begs, when Kara pulls out packet after packet of barbecue sauce. She wonders whether she can get away with asking the government to cover her expenses. She’s willing to go through the hassle just to see the look on Alex’s face. 

Kara answers with a blissed out noise, and stuffs six nuggets into her mouth, one after the other. Is she even chewing? 

Twenty minutes later, they pull into the residential complex’s underground garage, much to Lena’s relief. The food is gone — salads included — and there’s barbecue sauce in Lena’s hair. To add insult to injury, Kara syphoned everything down before she could steal a single fry.

“Race you upstairs!” Kara’s out of the car before it comes to a full stop, the wild mane of her hair streaming behind her. Lena lets her go — there’s not much she can get up to on the way to the top floor. Is there? 

Lena knows she should not take too long to follow, but she finds herself unable to. On the highway, she could focus on her driving, but now her mind veers back to Kara in her lap. Kara hugging her inside the DEO. How long had it been since she’d been touched that way? Weeks? Months? 

Tears well in her eyes, unbidden, and she’s suddenly crying in loud, ugly sobs that threaten to rip her chest apart from the inside out. 

She bites into her knuckles to muffle the sound, but Kara’s back so fast that a deep boom of displaced air follows in her wake. Kara’s back, and she’s wrenching the driver’s door off its hinges with a scream of tortured metal, eyes darkened by fear.

“Lena!” She scans the car’s interior, evidently unaware of the feat she just performed, and when she can’t immediately determine what is wrong, fright transitions into confusion. “You’re crying! What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Wiping at her eyes, Lena climbs out of her seat. She doesn’t comment on the damage done to her car, too befuddled by the fact that Kara’s going to come to her rescue even when she’s drugged. “Why don’t you put that down? Let’s head upstairs.”

The car door drops to the concrete with a clang and no ceremony at all.

“You know,” Kara muses as she links one arm with hers, “if you wanted to have some of my food you could have  _ asked _ .” 

Lena snorts a little wetly, thinking this is going to be the longest, weirdest night of her entire life.

When Kara’s fingers thread with hers, however, she does not pull her hand away.

***

It takes them a good twenty minutes to get up to the apartment. 

For starters, high-as-balls Kara shows a phobia of elevators regular Kara never displayed. Lena wonders whether it has anything to do with the time the Kryptonian spent adrift in the Phantom Zone, trapped inside her pod. She shouldn't care — she really,  _ really _ has stopped caring about Kara save for this Super-sitting stint — but her mind latches almost obsessively onto the observation. Bringing it up with Kara once she’s not on drugs is out of the question, but maybe she ought to mention it to Alex. 

On the other hand, she isn’t sure the DEO even provides therapy.

So they take the stairs, which all in all would be good exercise, if Kara didn’t insist on stopping every few steps to give Lena a hug. And if it was easier to avoid the outpour of affection in the infirmary, now she has nobody she can simply hide behind, and is forced to endure. But the worst thing is how warm and safe being encircled in Kara’s arms is making her feel.

_ Disgusting _ . 

Then, just as they’re halfway to her place, they cross paths with Sparkles, Mrs. Hendrigan’s labradoodle. Lena is decidedly against designer dogs, and Sparkles definitely doesn’t like  _ her,  _ but Kara’s like a magnet to his canine attentions, and she’s spared the usual barking and flashing of teeth. 

“He’s such a  _ good boy _ !” Kara gushes to Lena after she manages to separate her from her new best friend. “Don’t you think he’s a good boy?”

“Oh, he’s  _ adorable _ ,” Lena mutters, pushing Kara up the next flight of stairs. 

“Lena, I have a feeling you don’t like Sparkles.” Kara plants her feet, and there’s nothing Lena can do to move her further. It’s like trying to push a fully loaded Land Rover up an incline. Kara’s wearing the serious expression she puts on when she teaches elementary school kids how they’re supposed to cross the street. And Lena’s about to get a scolding. 

“It’s complicated.” She shouldn’t feel compelled to justify herself, but Kara’s eyes, so bright and absurdly blue, are  _ judging  _ her.

The way Kara’s eyebrows twitch upwards shouldn’t make her squirm, either, but it absolutely does.  _ God _ , but Mother would be ashamed. 

“He tried to bite me once.” 

“With that attitude, I’m not surprised.”

“Wow, okay. You’re going straight to bed Miss All The Dogs Love Me.” 

“They can smell if you don’t like them.” Kara leans in, and her voice drops lower, as though she’s sharing a big secret. “That’s why Sparkles snipped at you probably.”

She’s making a surprising amount of sense for being somewhere in the region of beyond stoned.

Lena would just like to ask why hasn’t Kara gotten the hint since she can smell  _ her _ , but her Kryptonian charge is racing down the hallway. In order to be the first one at Lena’s door, apparently.

Getting her to sit still on the couch tastes like victory.

“Get yourself comfortable.” Lena hands Kara the remote, and watches her flip through the Netflix catalogue before settling on a cooking show. “I’ll find you something to wear for bed.” And some Ibuprofen for herself. She’s already nursing a hangover, and she isn’t even drunk. 

Her headache has come in the shape of her ex-best friend (and former crush), and alcohol would at least be fun. 

Here’s an idea — maybe she  _ should  _ get drunk. Perhaps then seeing Kara sitting cross-legged on her couch, eyes glued to the tv like the fighting and the ugly words between them never happened, wouldn’t hurt so damn much.

But Lena can’t do that, can she? She promised Alex she’d take care of Kara until the bloodwork came back, and Alex had more than hinted at what would happen if she didn’t.

“Kara’s always had a soft spot for you.” So soft she’d had no problem lying to Lena about who she really was for years. “And I want to believe you’re a good person. So, please, don’t prove me wrong.” She’d not gone as far as to add  _ or else _ , but she really didn’t have to.

It’s laughable, Lena thinks, how much of an attachment she still feels to the people that betrayed her. How much misplaced loyalty she’s still willing to exhibit in order to prove all of them wrong — Alex especially. 

Because the words Alex left unsaid are the ones ringing in Lena’s ears the loudest. ‘I want to believe you’re a good person’  _ but _ . But you’re a Luthor. But look at your brother. But you’re your father’s daughter. 

Perhaps, she resolves with a sigh, she’s just too naive. Too trusting and too hopeful. Or maybe the mechanisms of the facade Lena presents to the rest of the world, which have been years and years in the making, are too fragile and too fidgety to withstand the stubborn onslaught of Kara’s affections.

A couple of hugs was all it took to shatter them (and her) like glass.

Lena uses the time she has alone inside her bedroom to get herself back under control. It takes a while to find some clothing that will fit Kara — she’s broader at the shoulder, and more muscular than Lena — and God, would you stop salivating about how fucking fit she is for just two seconds, please and thank you. Eventually, she settles on an ‘I love Ireland’ t-shirt Sam brought her back as a gag gift from a business trip (which she never wore) and a pair of soft, grey sweatpants. 

She gets changed as well — Alex had woken her so suddenly she’d just slipped back into her work clothes before hurrying to the DEO — and it only dawns on her that she’s picked the slightly too big sweater she only wears when she’s upset  _ after  _ she’s made it back into the living room. Too much of a hassle to go back and swap it for another that doesn’t carry so much…  _ meaning _ . 

What she finds waiting for her makes Lena forget about it anyway.

Kara’s appropriated the threadbare MIT hoodie that’s always surfing around the couch, but that’s not what grabs Lena’s attention. No — she’s shimmied out of her jeans, which are quite incongruously hanging from the ceiling fan, and it’s clear she’s got the taste of a hormonal teenage boy when it comes to underwear. Her boxer briefs are stamped with penguins.  _ Dancing  _ penguins. Lena’s eyes narrow briefly at the edges, before widening as far as they will go. 

On second thought, Lena’s not sure the penguins are dancing, really, but finding out would require her getting closer. Which she’s not about to do. Kara shifts under her stare, and the boxer briefs ride up a bit, and her thighs are — well,  _ fuck _ . 

Lena screws her eyes shut as tightly as she can, but when she opens them Kara is still there. Still half undressed. Still on her couch. 

And, not a negligible detail, she’s eating Lena’s salted caramel ice cream. 

“ _ What _ ?” she mumbles with a spoon sticking out the corner of her mouth. “You told me to make myself comfortable.” 

“That’s  _ my  _ ice cream.” Some of it is smeared across Kara’s upper lip, like a sticky mustache. 

“Was.” Kara beams and shows her the empty tub. “Do you have any more?” 

“Afraid not.” 

Her voice is too forceful, but Lena doesn’t care. What’s in all likelihood a high caused by some forbidden alien chemical is soon going to be joined by a sugar rush. She needs a little alcohol to take the edge off. Just a glass of white. She’s already moving to the kitchen, mind made up, when a loud bang follows from the living room. 

Make that a big glass of wine. 

She’s frozen in front of the fridge, ears piqued in the direction of the living room, breath caught in her throat while she waits for the next inevitable disaster. It’s gotten very quiet, and  _ that _ makes her suspicious. 

She waits, and waits and _waits_ , and when the other shoe finally drops, she’s still wholly unprepared. 

There’s the unmistakable noise of breaking china, a muffled ‘uh-oh’, and then she’s rushing into the living room, bottle still in hand. 

The vase that usually sits on the coffee table is in a million pieces on the floor, and Kara’s staring at it with a sheepish look, a mess of spilled water and crumpled roses at her feet.

“Sorry.” Her voice is small, almost fragile, and she’s doing her best not to look at Lena. “Please don’t be mad.” 

Lena doesn’t know how to respond. Five minutes ago, Kara was devouring her ice cream, wholly unrepentant. Now she looks afraid she will be yelled at. And the way she’s holding herself, shoulders hunched and hands cradled to her chest…

“Kara did you hurt yourself?” She hates the way her voice lilts out, wavery and concerned. 

“Maybe?” Kara tilts one of her hands for her to see. There’s a clean slash across it, oozing blood. “I… Is this supposed to happen?” 

“Come on,” Lena’s at her side in a flash. Tugging a stunned Kara to her feet, she directs her toward the kitchen sink. “Put your hand under running water, and I’ll get the first aid kit.” When she makes to go, Kara plucks at her sleeve, eyes pleading. 

“Lena, don’t leave.” 

“I’ll be right back, honey.” There she goes again. “Promise.” 

Kara looks a little doubtful, but lets her leave, and she hurries off toward the bathroom. Her thoughts are a whirlwind: first, Kara couldn’t control her powers, and now they’re gone? All Lena can do is hope it won’t be permanent. Although if it were, she could maybe have  _ her  _ Kara back. The Kara who she confided in for all these years — before she knew.

No. Stop.

Her heart lurches. 

Back inside the kitchen, Kara’s nearly in tears. 

“It won’t stop bleeding, Lena!” Her eyes are watery with panic. “Why doesn’t it stop?” 

“Because…”  _ Because you’re not used to being human _ . Lena grits her teeth around the truth, and shows Kara how to apply pressure on the cut while she gets the disinfectant and the bandaids out. “Because these kinds of cuts are shallow, but tend to bleed a lot. I know it’s scary right now, but it’s gonna be okay.” 

Kara braves the rubbing alcohol without so much as a flinch, and stares wide-eyed as Lena covers the cut with a bandaid. 

“There,” she declares, admiring her handiwork. “All done.”

“Will you kiss it and make it better?”

“Kara, there’s no scientific value to—” 

“But it  _ will  _ make me feel better. Pretty please?” 

“No.”

“Come oooon.”

Kara basically thrusts her injured hand under Lena’s nose and cracks the goofy grin and puppy eyes combo she’s never been able to say no to.

“Ugh. Fine.” 

She pecks the palm of Kara’s hand, quick as lightning, and wonders whether she’s always been this soft to the touch. She doesn’t want to dwell on it, or on the swarm of butterflies having an impromptu dance party in her stomach. “All better.” 

“Still hurts.” Kara pushes a pout. Her eyes glow the blue of open waters in the low light. “More kisses?” 

“Don’t push your luck, Danvers.” 

They end up back on the couch, and soon enough, Kara forgets the cut on her hand, too engrossed in what looks like the first season of  _ Lucifer _ . At least she’s picked something other than food-elated docuserieses — Lena’s feeling slightly nauseous. A feat, considering that, to her stomach, dinner’s nothing but a pale memory.

The flat screen quickly becomes the center of Kara’s very scattered attention, her mouth hanging a little open as she watches one episode after another. She moves only to push the appropriate button on the remote when Netflix asks whether or not she wants to go to the next episode, and Lena’s quite content to watch her watch TV.

She catches herself searching that familiar face for signs of new onsetting side effects. What she fears the most — the red glow of Red-K poisoning slithering under Kara’s skin — doesn’t manifest. The lack of inhibitions is enough cause to have considered it, if briefly. 

However, there are dark smudges under her eyes, and their blue is not so bright now. Kara’s powers don’t show up, and while the sight of her own blood sparked brief recollection, she doesn’t seem to note their absence. Doesn’t remember she’s supposed to have superpowers either, at least not yet. The lead-lined walls may be playing a part in the slow return of Kara’s powers, as the metal acts like a dampener of sorts, but the more time passes, the more worrisome the circumstances become. 

Eventually, after what must be the tenth yawn has threatened to split Kara’s face neatly in two, Lena shuts the TV off.

“Hey!” Kara tries to regain control of the remote, but her lunge is an uncoordinated disaster, and she ends up face first in Lena’s lap instead.

Lena goes completely still, not knowing what to do.

“I was watching that.” 

“You were falling asleep.” She ever so carefully shifts, so that Kara’s mouth isn’t planted directly against her… her…  _ Oh, for fuck’s sake _ ! 

“What? NO!” Kara pushes on one elbow, her offended glare ruined by another jaw-wrenching yawn. “It’s early! I’m awake!” 

Lena cannot help herself. She threads a hand through Kara’s hair, tucking loose, golden strands behind her ear. 

“It’s 4am. I’m tired. You’re tired. We should go to sleep.” 

Kara tries to edge a word in, and Lena thinks that maybe she can sue the DEO for damages. 

“Bedtime,” she says, slipping into her boardroom voice. “Now, Kara.” 

“Only if I get a bedtime story.” Kara’s bottom lip juts out despondently, and Lena has to rush through the list of reasons why it’d be a bad idea to kiss her. The one at the top ‘you hate Kara now’ is beginning to ring more than a bit false. 

“Deal.” She stands and pats the empty spot she left on the couch. “Stretch out here, I’ll fetch you a blanket and some pillows.” 

Normally she’d do the cavalier thing and be the one to take the couch, but she had red sun lamps installed only in the living room and on the adjacent balcony — that’s where she and Kara spent most of their time when they were friends. She’d contemplated putting some in the bedroom, too, for reasons she’d rather not dwell upon, but after their fall out, it all seemed unnecessary. 

Besides, a sliver of resentment lingers. Show too much courtesy, it says, and you might as well admit you’re in love with her — you always have been.

_ Shit _ . There it is. 

Lena flees into the bedroom, and doesn’t care that it looks like a retreat. Her heart is pounding in her ears, and even after it’s slowed down, she feels a sharpness in her chest whenever she breathes a bit too deeply. Lena would never have imagined a broken heart would hurt so much. 

Back inside the living room, Kara looks like she’s already fast asleep, but the moment Lena lays the blanket on her, her eyes crack open. There’s a crease on her cheek from the couch’s stitching — it makes her look twice as endearing as she ought to be. 

Lena tears her gaze away, busying herself with fluffing up the pillows.

“My story?” Kara’s voice is heavy with sleep. Grainy. It’s obvious she will do her best to stay awake until she’s given what she wants — just like a child, playing under the blankets after lights out. 

“I’ve not forgotten.” Lena perches on the little room Kara left for her. It’s enough space to sit on — albeit precariously — but she makes everything more awkward by pulling her shoulders back at an odd angle. Sitting any different would mean leaning against Kara and Lena would rather die than do that. 

“Once upon a time, there was…” She stares down into Kara’s expectant eyes and it’s a horrible mistake. A moment later she is drowning in cornflower blue, and the words are spilling from her, unbidden and out of control. “There was a Girl of Steel, and she protected not just one city, but the entire world from harm. It wasn’t easy, and I suppose it scared her sometimes, but she did it anyway, because she wanted to keep everybody safe and—” 

“And did she love the people she protected?” Kara is clutching at the blanket and drinking in every word, not realizing Lena’s speaking about  _ her _ . 

“Well, I guess she loved her friends.” Lena feels herself begin to shake, and is powerless to stop it. When Kara opens her mouth for another question, she wants to push a pillow on her face to suffocate her words, but it’s too late. It’s been too late since the moment she offered to bring her here for the night.

“No, I mean—” Kara’s nose scrunches up in concentration. “Did she love,  _ love  _ someone? As in, you know, a  _ girlfriend _ .” She stumbles on the word and blushes a delicate shade of pink, but refuses to back down. 

Lena draws in a breath. It whistles loudly between her teeth, and she’s sure Kara can hear how it rattles in her throat even without super hearing. 

“She...she... I don’t—” Lena’s struck dumb. Frozen. Unable to hold back the tears streaming down her cheeks. This feels like an enormous joke fate is playing on her. Kara traces the lines of salt on her face with the tip of a finger, looking puzzled, and the light touch is enough to snap Lena out of her funk.

“I can’t.” Lena pulls away, furiously rubbing at her cheeks. Fresh tears dampen her skin quicker than she can dry them. “You should try to sleep.” She can’t say more, or stay a second longer. She’s dizzy with the effort of keeping it together. 

She gets up so fast she bangs her knees against the coffee table, but ignores the flare of pain while fleeing down the hall. She makes it to the bedroom in a lather, and even though she knows it isn’t possible, Lena feels Kara’s eyes on her for a long time. 

The DEO should pay for  _ her  _ therapy, nevermind Kara’s.

***

When Lena slits one eye open, it’s definitely morning. She can’t begin to guess what time it is, and the sullen light filtering in from the bedroom window isn’t helping. She feels hazy and half-asleep, lulled by what she vaguely recognizes as the sound of rain pattering the windowpane. There’s warmth at her back, more than her blanket warrants, and someone’s gently snoring in her ear.

That definitely isn’t her. Lena doesn’t  _ snore _ . 

She shifts onto her back, and upon finding Kara curled up against her, sleep leaves her completely.

“Kara…” Lena pokes at her shoulder, and the snoring falters into a groan. “What are you doing here?” 

“Lonely.” Comes the mumbled reply. “You warm.” 

“Fine.” Lena is still tired, and getting Kara out on the couch feels like too much work. “But keep to your side of the bed.”

“M’kay.” 

The quiet lasts for a couple of minutes, then the snoring resumes.

***

Lena wakes again, groggy and woolen-headed. She’s not used to sleeping this much, and she’s almost certain something died inside her mouth. She feels hungover without having been drunk first. What a joke. 

The storm is still going outside, but it abated, and the rain is the softest murmur outside the bedroom window. The steady  _ drip-drip _ of the water mutes all other sounds, making her feel as though the world outside this room has been swallowed up.

She regains awareness of her body slowly. It’s a painstaking process, as though she’s knitting back together the parts of her that came undone the night before. When full consciousness arrives, Lena almost tumbles out of the bed. 

Kara is pressed into her back again, but this time she’s slung an arm around her waist. And her hand… Her hand is…

Her hand somehow snuck underneath Lena’s shirt, and is cupped around her breast. Every now and then, Kara’s fingers spasm, squeezing a little harder, and the way Lena’s body answers —  _ tightening  _ — causes her to gasp. Her hips stutter backwards, grinding her rear into Kara’s front, and the Kryptonian lets out a happy hum, one leg twining with hers. 

Oh,  _ God _ . 

What’s worse is how right it all feels. How easy it’d be to pretend Kara never kept such an important part of herself from her, and that this is their routine. Waking up together in the morning.

_ Together _ . 

Lena’s trying to figure out the best way to untangle them without jostling Kara awake, when she comes to with a shiver. 

“ _ Lena _ .” Something in her voice is raw, and for a moment, she presses into Lena’s ass more firmly. Lena has time to register pooling wetness, before Kara wrenches back with a horrified noise.

“Oh, Rao. Oh, Lena. I’m so— sorry. I didn’t mean—” 

“Kara, it’s okay. You weren’t—” 

“Did I— I mean, did we—  _ you know _ .” 

“No, I don’t.” 

Kara has scrambled to the opposite side of the bed by now, tugging all the blankets with her. She holds them to her chest as a wall between them, and nearly ducks her head beneath them, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Oh, what have I done.” She’s saying it to herself as much as anyone, tone edged in desperation. “Oh, Rao. I wanted, but not like—” 

“ _ Kara _ .” Lena’s dying to ask what Kara  _ wants _ , but has a feeling that’d make her panic even more. “Kara, listen to me. You didn’t do anything—” she pauses, searching for the right word. “You didn’t force yourself on me, if that’s what you’re afraid of.” 

“But...” Kara wrings the blanket between her hands and it tears. Like paper. Her powers have returned. “But my hand was—” she swallows, and Lena is strangely entranced by the sight of her throat bobbing up and down. “It  _ was _ . Around  _ your— _ ” 

“Cupping my breast, yes.” She can still feel the warmth of it. Her nipples stiffen with the memory. “But you were  _ sleeping _ .” Lena intentionally stresses the word. “You didn’t mean it.”

Kara’s eyes are blue and wide with panic. She hasn’t heard a word, clearly.

“I took advantage of you. Oh, Lena. Oh, crap.” 

There’s only so much hoping a girl can do.

“Kara, stop—” 

“I  _ know  _ I was supposed to stay on the couch. I remember that much. But I snuck into bed with you, and that’s awful enough. And then I—” 

Lena’s seen Kara panic other times. All that’s missing is the restless circles paced around the room. Only one thing will work when Kara gets like this. 

“Kara,  _ please _ .” Her loud, clipped tone cuts through Kara’s babbling like a knife. Her mouth snaps shut and she does her best deer-in-headlights impression, blinking at Lena. 

“What else do you remember?” 

“Uhm.” Focusing on the question helps to calm her down. “There was a fire. A chem plant or something. I remember I flew there to help, but everything is very confused after that. Feels like a dream.”

“It would.” Lena quickly outlines what Alex discovered, watching Kara’s face go through several stages of disbelief.

“Did I do anything awful?” she asks when Lena’s done, eyes darting to the side.

“Well, I do have enough to blackmail you…” Kara clamps a hand over her mouth. “But no. It was funny, mostly.”

“Do you want to talk about—” Kara gestures to the crumpled nest of sheets, and her cheeks suffuse in red. “I think maybe we—”

“Maybe we should.” Lena’s heart climbs into her throat, and strangles out the words. She can only sit on the bed, one hand to her chest, the other resting where Kara had been lying. The mattress is still warm. 

She’s so engrossed in her study of the bed that when Kara’s hand covers hers, Lena nearly jumps out of her skin. 

“Sorry.” Kara makes to pull away, but Lena snatches her back by the wrist, pulling her closer. 

“Don’t. At least not about that.”

“Lena, I—” 

She’s about to say she’s sorry about her lies, Lena can read it on her face. For the first time in months she admits she’s ready to hear Kara out until the end. 

Before Kara can say anything, Lena’s phone rings, and of course, it’s Alex.

“Here.” She hands over the device. “Big sister wants you.” 

Kara throws her an apologetic look, then presses the phone to her ear, eyes darkening as she listens to Alex speak. 

“Yes I’m fine. What? No! Can’t it wait?” She’s annoyed, and her gaze shifts from dark to smouldering. “Right now? And nobody else can handle— fine. Okay.” 

“Sister emergency or Supergirl emergency?” Lena accepts the phone with grace, but inwardly she’s calling Alex an infinite series on unflattering names.

“The latter. A DEO team needs backup, and since I appear to be fine, Alex wants me to go lend a hand.” 

“Is that wise?” Lena’s voice cracks, and she continues on, hoping Kara won’t have noticed. “I mean, they should run some tests. Can’t they send Nia? Or J’onn?” 

Now she’s the one prattling. That’s one hell of a role reversal.

“Already there.” Kara takes her hand again and runs the pad of her thumb across Lena’s knuckles. “I won’t be alone. I’ll be okay.” 

“Come back to me.” Lena can’t take the words back, and wouldn’t if she could. Kara’s lingering annoyance lifts, and her eyes are round and hopeful.

“You mean—” She’s already standing after giving Lena back her phone, ready to spring into action. Now she falters, and takes a hesitant step forward. “You mean—” 

“I mean we need to talk,” Lena tells her, gently. “Now, shoo. Go be a hero.” 

After one last glance her way, Kara gives a jerky nod and pushes the window open, leaping into the gauzy rain.

“Try not to get yourself killed.” 

Lena whispers it, but she knows Kara can hear. 

***

By the time Kara does come back to Lena, it’s an entirely new day. She’s buried herself in work, and ordered enough food to feed an army. In her defense, Kara’s always ravenous after a mission.

The hardest part for Lena has been avoiding the news. It isn’t usually a problem, but while she waited for Kara to return, eyes drifting to the sky between each email, it’s only served to agitate her. She also wonders whether Kara will  _ actually _ show up. She seemed intentioned to talk things out, but people are at their most vulnerable when barely awake, and what if the day they spent apart made her change her mind? 

Lena doesn’t think she will survive more disappointment. 

She’s out of her chair the moment she hears Kara land on her balcony with her signature  _ whoosh _ . 

The Kryptonian must have had her same thought, because her arms are festooned with takeout bags. Lena hasn’t been able to keep down much, and instantly zeroes in on the Big Belly Burger logo.

“Double cheeseburgers and loaded fries.” 

“Oh, God, I love you.” 

Kara jolts, almost dropping all the food.

“Come inside.” Lena recovers first, ears positively on fire. “Let's set some dinner up, and then we’ll talk.”

“Okay.”

In the kitchen, big as it is, they manage to bump into one another about ten times before Lena throws her hands up in frustration. They’re big ass grown ups — this is ridiculous. 

“Okay, change of plans. Talk first.” 

“I agree.” Kara covers up the potstickers and turns to her expectantly.

“I love you, Kara. It wasn’t a slip up.” She’d prepared an entire speech, but she’s forgotten it completely. All she can think of is that Kara is here. Kara came back to her, keeping her word. Kara’s in her kitchen, looking frazzled and a bit ridiculous with an egg roll in each hand. 

“I didn’t mean to touch your boobs.” Kara says at the same time. She puts the egg rolls down and dusts off her hands. “They’re nice boobs, like, super nice, but I didn’t mean to grope you. I want to — not grope you, Rao that came out wrong — but like, touch you — but in a way that’s consensual, and respectful, and not gross?” Her mouth keeps moving, but all that comes out is a croak. Seeing her words sink in, Lena can’t hold back the tiniest smirk.

“Wait.” Kara frowns. “Did you just say you love me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Like,  _ love me _ , love me?”

“Kara?”

“Yeah?” 

“Stop talking and kiss me, please.” 

Something appears to snap inside of Kara, and she is on Lena in a flash. Mouth searching for her mouth, eyes beseeching, she pushes her back into the kitchen counter so hard her hip will bruise. A lone egg roll plops to the tile, but neither of them care.

Lena’s hands wind around her collar as they kiss. It’s hard and urgent, a bit ungainly — years in the making. 

“Can I take you to bed?” Kara pants against her neck, teeth nipping at the curve of her throat. 

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

Kara  _ floats  _ them there, and it makes Lena laugh and throw her arms around her neck, pressing into her strong, lean body harder, fingers gripping at Kara’s nape with enough force she’d leave a mark if it weren’t for Kara’s powers. 

“Kara.” 

There’s so many things Lena wants to say. Many words of love that bitterness never could erase. She can’t, Kara’s hands on her are too much to do anything else but gasp, and arch into her touch. 

She doesn’t know how they end up naked, but she can pinpoint the moment her gasps turn to fully fledged moans with frightening accuracy. Kara’s running her nails alongside Lena’s ribcage, and it stings in a pleasing sort of way. A slight discomfort that, instead of turning her off, fills her with warmth, makes her dig her shoulders into the mattress. 

“I want to hear you say it again,” Kara blows cool air across her chest, taking her into her mouth when her nipples pucker up. “Tell me that you love me.” It’s not an order, but even if it were, Lena would happily give in. Kara’s eyes are so blue and earnest, there is nothing that she would refuse her. 

“I love you.” One of Kara’s hands slides down, past her abdomen and the angle of her hip bone. Down between her legs, to the mess of heat waiting for her there. 

“Say it again.” 

Kara has her pinned onto her back, and the sweet, purposeful way she sets her hand to work between Lena’s trembling thighs knocks all breath from her lungs.

“Say it again,” she whispers, fingers pressing inside her. Lena tenses, grinds down. Gasps .

“Love you, Kara.” Kara pushes deeper, and Lena’s hips rise up, meeting her thrusts. “Love you so much.”

Kara is relentless, and even though it is their first time, fumbly and tentative as first times always are, it doesn’t take her long to find out what Lena likes, how to draw moans from her. Soft whimpers. 

She hones in on what Lena  _ needs _ , perfectly attuned to every hitched breath, every muttered ‘fuck’. Every murmured, breathless ‘Kara’. 

“Kara.” She calls out when she feels her belly tighten, her toes curl. “Kara, I’m gonna—” 

“I’ve got you.” Kara nuzzles along her jaw, hand working her into release. “Let go. I’ve got you. I love you, Lena. I always have.” 

Lena unravels, coming and crying and clinging to Kara’s broad shoulders. 

“I’ve got you.” Kara drops her head next to Lena’s throat, scattering kisses on her skin. Fervently repeating the words, again and again, fingers slowing before she picks up the rhythm again and sends Lena down a second, precipitous peak. 

“ _ I zhao _ ...” Lena doesn’t know what Kara’s saying, but her voice is imbued with so much love, a sense of meaning comes across. Blonde hair falls across her face like a curtain, and she lets herself be held. In this place, as they lie cheek to cheek and breathe each other’s air, the world feels distant. Inconsequential. 

Sometime later, they  _ do  _ talk. Kara’s flipped them over, so that Lena’s resting on her chest, a hand curled around her bicep, refusing to let go even for a second. It’d take another Super to pry her away from Kara right about now, and the Kryptonian seems to be of the same mind. 

They both cry — Lena’s tears are tired and spent, Kara’s are loud and bend her almost double — and when their eyes have dried, they make love again. This time, it’s Lena who pins Kara down (mainly because Kara’s happy to let her), mouth planted against her slicked mound until Kara weakly pushes her away, too sensitive to withstand another climax. 

Hours go by, and when they manage to drag themselves out of bed, the food has grown somewhat more than cold.

“I think we may have gone a little overboard.” Lena turns the oven on while Kara plates them a bite of everything. Her plate is stacked so high, the pile of food comes close to toppling, and she’s already munching on a cold egg roll.

“There’s no such thing as too much food,” she declares, making slut-eyes at some loaded fries. Lena’s almost jealous. “But if you’d like, we could call the others over? I’m sure they’ll be up for a snack.”

“I’d like that.” Lena hasn’t been around the others much, let alone to Game Night. She’s a bit nervous about it, to be honest — there’s so much potential for disaster after all — but Kara is already making phone calls, her eyes softening whenever they find hers.

It turns out alright, if a bit awkward, and there’s room for some more tears when Alex pulls her into a bear hug out of the blue. 

It’s by no means perfect, but it’s a start, and as Lena sits sandwiched on the couch between the Danvers sisters, watching Nia and Kelly arm wrestle with the last taco for a prize, she knows there is no place she’d rather be. 

**Author's Note:**

> join me[ on Tumblr](https://kendrene.tumblr.com/) for more gay nonsense!


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